


out of the black

by ridtheblues



Category: Dynasty (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Crying, Dead Scratch, Dynasty - Freeform, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jarrington, M/M, Major Character Death TW, NOT STEVEN, Sam Jones - Freeform, Season 1 Episode 22, Slight Panic Attack, Steammy - Freeform, Steven Carrington - Freeform, Steven is ALIVE, Steven/Sam - Freeform, after the fire, dont let the summary fool you, i needed the reunion, set after s1x22, slightly graphic description of Steven's burns, take a shot everytime i say they sob, they love each other a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-29 19:01:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20087188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ridtheblues/pseuds/ridtheblues
Summary: Ithurts, aches so badly to even think his name but it plays a violent mantra in his head.Steven. Steven. StevenStevenSteven.He wonder’s in passing how it’s possible to grieve someone you were kissing at an altar just a little bit earlier. It feels like a sick joke.





	out of the black

**Author's Note:**

> hi all! i know this tag is super dead rn but i have had this thought since i watched this episode and i HAD to get it out of my head for everyone else if not my own sanity. please note this is extremely inspired by ao3 and twitter user @EmilySheryn and her INCREDIBLE wip called, 'Out of the Ashes'. think of this as maybe a more in depth snapshot of the sweet reunion scene she gave us in chapter one. its rather short and dramatic and i ended up deleting like two pages cause i didn't know where i wanted the ending to go, but it's here! enjoy angsty hurt/comfort jarrington. or steammy. imo its jarrington skks. take this as you will, and i hope you like it! you can find me on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/ridtheblues) as im there 90% of my time. if anyone wants to come and say hi, be forwarned i Am an it stan account and with the new movie coming out that will be all i talk or write about for the next while. the next time i write something jarrington related will probably be with the reunion were wating for in Dynasty s3. for now, here!

Sam can’t breathe. Granted, he was just pulled out of a burning house after inhaling smoke for fifteen minutes but he thinks it’s mostly because of the face Fallon is wearing at the moment. Her eyes are wide, and brimmed with tears. Her mouth is in the shape of an ‘O’ although it is trembling violently. Fallon doesn’t _cry,_ not in public at least. And she’s never done it in front of him. He knows that look although he hasn’t ever seen it painting her face before. It’s the look of someone who just lost their brother. That thought makes his heart crumple and hot tears well up in his eyes so he forces himself away from it. It wouldn’t be fair to act as if his loss is worse than hers, but he swears he is in the most pain he has ever been in. She brings a shaking hand up to her mouth and sobs out a weak; “Oh my god,” which hurts even worse. He feels hysterical, his eyes wild and searching all around the perimeter hoping, _begging_, to see Steven walking his way out of some magical exit that the rest of them didn’t know about. Banged up and burned, sure, but alive. Fallon’s eyes are trained on the barn behind him but he can’t bring himself to look at it. It’ll all become too real. Eventually he does anyway. ____

_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Sam turns around and sees the door to the barn, the door he came out, the door Steven was supposed to come out of, explode into flames. His heart lurches with it, his mind whirling. How could he have lost sight of Steven? He was right there. He shouldn’t have let Culhane drag him out. He should’ve pushed him away, shoving him towards his (brand new) husband and either run out himself or… or stayed. Steven _deserved_ to make it out, to be with his family. Sam can’t help but blame himself for the look on Fallon’s face. She deserves to have her sibling. Sam doesn’t have anyone, not really. No one except Steven, and his aunt - who he’s assuming is still inside as well. His brain doesn’t allow him to think the word ‘dead’. He would’ve crumbled to the floor and never gotten up. Steven on the other hand, has his whole family. He would have mourned Sam, of course. But he would have the help of his sister, and his parents. Steven could have moved on, Sam insists on that. Instead, Sam stands in the place of the only Carrington who had his whole life in front of him, still waiting to be discovered.___ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ It’s that notion that causes a heart wrenching sob to escape his throat. It’s deep, it travels from his stomach, through his chest and out of his mouth. Sam raises a desperate hand to cover his mouth, but he can’t stop. His whole body shakes with the weight of it, fresh tears spilling out of his eyes and harsh gasping breaths to force their way out of him. He plays back the night in his head, flashing back to Ander's officially wedding him to the love of his life. How did it all go so wrong? How did Sam go from having everything he had ever dreamed of ripped away from him in less than an hour? He brings both of his hands up and cradles his head in his hands, disregarding his empathetic feelings towards the other members of Steven’s family, _his_ family, and allowing himself to feel. Sam’s cries harder now, his vicious sobs sounding more like feeble whimpers. He feels a hand lay gently on his shoulder and allows himself, for a moment, to imagine it’s Steven. He gasps out a cry and removes his hands from his eyes to look at Fallon, who stands behind him. She isn’t in much better shape than he is, her perfect makeup smeared down her cheeks and still sniffling hopelessly. “It’s okay,” she says, and she tries her best to be reassuring. Sam shakes his head, his mouth stuck open.___ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ “I don’t understand,” he says weakly, shaking his head too quickly. “He was right there, Fallon. And now he’s gone, and I-” Sam’s throat catches weakly as he stares into her eyes. She looks so much like her brother. “What am I gonna do?” He whispers. Fallon’s lips curl in and she shakes her head, before grabbing him and pulling him into a tight hug. He realized then that what she means to him is what he means to her. They were both the closest people to Steven. It’s like a lifeline, for both of them. Fallon lets out a weak cry as she buries her head on his shoulder, and although hot tears are still streaming down his face he’s beginning to feel numb. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Everything is gonna be alright, okay?” She’s saying, but it sounds more like shes convincing herself. Sam nods against her shoulder even if he doesn’t truly believe her. How can it? No one has ever meant as much to him as Steven does. Did. _What the fuck._ Fallon rubs a comforting hand on his back before pulling away, using her head to gesture at her father who is standing in front of the doorway still with his hands above his head. Sam nods, letting her go and turning away from the burning barn once again. He feels lightheaded and shaky, and he stumbles as he finds a wall he can slide down before he passes out and turns this into something it doesn’t need to be. Sam stares desperately at the fire in front of him till his eyes sting and colors dance in front of them, but even then he doesn’t take his eyes away. Sam sees Cristal in his mind, and it breaks him down even more. She truly was one of the only mothering figures he had really ever known, his own mother was gone. Not dead, sure. But under a new name, in a new country, completely untraceable. Even if she was, based on how they left things he doubts he’ll ever see her again anyway. Cristal was, in reality, the only family he had left aside from Steven. ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Oh my god,” he whimpers weakly, repeating Fallon’s heartbreaking cry from earlier. Sam tries to wipe his tears as they fall but it was in vain. Light, panicked sobs are still forcing their way out of his body as he shakily brings his knees up to his chest. All he wants are Steven’s comforting hands on his back, stroking his hair and talking him down. Sam won’t ever get that again. He squeezes his eyes shut and prays his brain will shut up. It hurts, aches so badly to even think his name but it plays a violent mantra in his head. _Steven. Steven. StevenStevenSteven._ He wonder’s in passing how it’s possible to grieve someone you were kissing at an altar just a little bit earlier. It feels like a sick joke. “Please,” he whispered to himself, not really even sure what he’s asking for. Sam tugs on his hair with his right hand and his left comes back up to cover his mouth. He stares at the flames once again. “Wake up,” he whispers again, his mouth moving on it’s own accord. “Just wake up. And it’s over. That’s all you have to do,” Sam nods to himself, knowing he probably looks insane but not really caring. This has to be a nightmare, some fucked up pre-wedding jitters and he’s still laying in bed with Steven while his mind wreaks havoc on him by playing out his worst fears in some lucid dream. Sam pinches himself on the writs and squeezes his eyes shut tight. It doesn’t work. The sickening smell of smoke still fills his nostrils, and the loud pained screams and sobs of the wedding guests who haven’t even lost _anything_ still filled his ears. He opens his eyes again, cursing himself. Movie tricks don’t work in real life, he knows that now more than ever before. Just like true love. Sam was silly to think he could hold onto that, fatal fire or not. He takes a few deep breaths, and although it doesn’t do much to calm the painful anxiety wracking his body it at least bring him down to earth. Sam stands up from his spot against the back wall on trembling legs and wipes his eyes again. He searches the crowd for Fallon and Blake, and sees them along with Culhane leaning against the same wall he was, talking with a police officer. Alexis is… sitting in the back of an ambulance, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and she sobs into a handkerchief. Sam’s heart aches for her, although he can’t say he likes her too much. She just lost a second son, after all. And this time, there aren’t any hopes of getting him back. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Sam sighs shakily. He knows he should go to the Carrington’s, but he feels suffocated despite being outside. Probably the lung damage too, but he also decides against walking towards the paramedics as well. Instead, he walks across the field slowly both resonating in and hating the solitude. He stays away from the crowd of guests that are still talking about the event, shock playing on each and every one of their faces. It makes him feel sick looking at them so he settles for looking up into the night sky, hoping to see stars and instead seeing the dark blue turned hazy grey from smog still billowing off the barn. The firefighters have arrived, and though the fire isn’t completely out it’s definitely being contained. Sam almost wishes it won’t stop. Because if it stops, then the night is over. He will make his way to his room alone, fall asleep alone (he notes to himself he probably won’t be sleeping at all tonight, and probably for a few nights to come, but the point still stands.) and he will wake up alone as well. Sam allows his brain to filter the panicked voices of the guests through, if only to stop his thoughts from sending him into another hysterical frenzy. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Do you know what happened?” One guest says, Sam shakes his head as if they’re talking to him. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“It wouldn’t be a Carrington party without some sort of dramatic tragedy.” Another speaks and Sam finds it in himself to roll his eyes, even if they aren’t wrong._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Sir, please.” Another voice says, “Your arm is badly burned, and we need to get you inside an ambulance as soon as possible.” Sam guesses this is the voice of a paramedic, and he swears quietly as he imagines the amount of lawsuits the Carrington family is going to have to deal with after tonight. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“You don’t _understand,_” One man speaks desperately. “You have to go back inside, my fiancé,” the voice cuts off and comes back out weaker than before, choked and painful, “My husband. He’s still in there. It didn’t see him come out and-” he utters before it breaks out into a sob. The man’s voice is painfully familiar, and it pushes Sam back past all the progress he’s made in _not_ becoming a crying mess for everyone to see. He can’t bring himself to look at the speaker, not ready to face the disappointment. Sam votes for closing his eyes tight and pointing his head down at the floor, holding in another painful wail. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“What’s your husband’s name, sweetie?” The female paramedic asks. “We’ve already ushered at least 5 five ambulances out of here, it’s very likely he is in one of those.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Sam.” The voice says quickly. “His name is Sam.” Sam’s eyes shoot open, cursed hope filling his chest as he whips his head around, searching desperately for whoever is talking. Although he can’t see the speaker, the smile in his voice when he says “Sam Carrington.” is enough to send Sam into a state of almost terrified excitement. He honestly can’t tell if he’s hallucinating or not, because he can’t see Steven anywhere. And that _was_ Steven. It absolutely had to be. Sam spins around himself, his eyes searching the crowd intensely as his breath starts to pick up. That violent mantra starts again, screaming at him now; _Steven. Steven. StevenStevenSteven_. He begins briskly walking into the crowd, scanning with his eyes and listening intently with his ears. Sam is worried if he runs he’ll run right past him. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Sam Carrington,” The paramedic’s voice repeats, closer now. “I’m afraid I don’t see him on our list, hun.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Then go back _inside._” Steven pleads again, and Sam knows for sure now that it’s his voice. ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Steven!” He calls out, nearly making himself dizzy with not only the force of it but with the way he’s whipping his head around trying to find him. Sam walks a few strides deeper into the crowd, finally coming to a row of ambulances. “Steven!” He calls again, louder this time. He’s getting more desperate than before, starting to believe he may actually be imagining things when he turns around, and sees him. Steven’s back is to Sam, and he’s standing in front of a paramedic inside their truck who is trying to coerce him into getting in and getting checked out. The right side of his suit is charred, and the sleeve on the right arm has been burned off to the elbow. The skin on his right arm is burned badly, almost black with soot and pink, wet wounds showing through. “Steven.” Sam says as loudly as he can, but is throat is closing in and his heart is racing and his voice comes out in a croak. The paramedic’s mouth is moving but Sam can no longer hear what she’s saying. He finds he really only has eyes, and ears, for one person._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I’ll go back in myself then,” Steven’s voice shakes. “I’m not losing him because you want to be the person who saves Steven Carrington.” Steven whips around and Sam finally, _finally_ gets a look at his face. Steven’s eyes which are hard and focused at first, widen in relief as he sees Sam. Stevens mouth, hard and angry falling into a blissful half smile and a sigh visibly racking its way through his body. Sam can’t move, he can’t even think. A part of him still doesn’t believe that Steven is in front of him. Steven doesn’t need the convincing Sam does though, because he begins to rush at him as soon as a broken “Sam,” falls from his mouth. Sam’s own mouth is gaping speechlessly, fresh tears still falling from his eyes. ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Steven?” He asks, breathing heavily. Steven makes it to him in 5 or 6 strides, reaching out and grabbing Sam’s face in his hands. Sam searches his eyes needingly, praying now that he isn’t dreaming. Steven lets out a shaky cry, his eyes wide and brown and so beautiful. His hands are stroking Sam’s cheeks as he searches his eyes as well. A beat passes and Steven says;_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Say something so I know you’re real, please,” And there’s a hint of a joke in there, but based on the way his voice cracks on the last syllable and the look in his eyes, he isn’t kidding. Sam reaches a shaky hand out to touch Steven’s hair, his own eyes boring into the man in front of him. Sam says the only words he’s been able to say for the last two hours._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Oh my god, Steven.” He gasps, pulling him into a crushing embrace, minding his right arm. Sam buries his nose into the left side of Steven’s jacket, a rough yet relieved sob forcing its way out of his mouth. Steven wraps his arms around Sam in the same manner, the shock probably making it so he can’t feel the second-degree burns that run up and down his arm. Maybe he just doesn’t care. Steven holds Sam’s head against him with one hand as his other moves to grasp at Sam’s hair, stroking comfortingly like Sam had been wishing for all night. Steven let’s out a broken whimper, his bottom lip trembling as he breathes Sam in. Steven doesn’t think he had ever been more terrified in his life then when we realized Sam wasn’t anywhere to be found once he had made it out. Sam still smells like Sam, with a hint of smoke and sweat sure, but the familiar scent of Drakkar Noir fills his nose and relaxes him, albeit just a bit. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Steven lets out, a mix of a broken sob and a satisfied laugh. Sam shakes his head, pulling Steven impossibly closer. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I’m really not,” Sam laughs weakly. Steven pulls back at arm's length worriedly, taking Sam in and assessing for any injuries. The space makes Sam whimper quietly but he lets it go, settling for feeling Steven’s strong hands on his shoulders and stroking Steven’s own upper arms with is own._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Why? Are you burned anywhere?” He asks, and Sam has to crack a sad smile at that, shaking his head unbelievably at the man in front of him. Steven’s entire right arm is nearly charred to bits and he’s worried about _Sam._ Sam reaches up and strokes Steven’s cheek, his eyes welling up with another type of tears. ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I should be asking you that,” Sam says gesturing to Steven’s arm, “But I guess it doesn’t take much looking, does it?” He finishes, laughing weakly. Steven doesn’t take the bait, staring at Sam with concerned eyes. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Sam.” Steven says simply, begging him not to bullshit without even saying it. Sam breaks their eye contact for the first time since they found each other again. He doesn’t want to talk about where his thoughts were not even thirty minutes ago, he’s afraid if he acknowledges it, Steven will vanish from his arms into thin air. Sam sucks in a sharp breath and tucks his lips inward. “Look at me, please.” Steven says, his voice slightly frantic like he’s having the same thoughts Sam is. Sam can’t ever not listen to him, so he does. Steven’s eyes are watering and his eyebrows were furrowed. “Talk to me, it’s okay.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I thought you were dead,” Sam says, shifting his eyes all around Steven’s face and drinking him in. “I thought I lost you, Steven. And I just got you,” Sam continues breathlessly “We got out, and you weren’t there. And then the barn blew up and I couldn't find you anywhere. I was so scared, so fucking scared and it hurt so _bad_, Steven. I was going to have to spend everyday knowing that it was my fault your family lost you and I couldn’t move on. I know that. I could never move on without you and-” Steven pulls Sam back in and Sam stops talking, breathing heavily. A weak sigh comes out of him and he wraps his arms around Steven once again, pressing frenzied kisses into Steven’s shoulder. ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Shh, Shh,” Steven says soothingly, “I’m sorry baby, It’s okay.” Steven goes back to stroking his hair. “I’m right here. I understand, more than you know,” His voice cracks towards the end, and Sam is hit with the realization that Steven was probably going through the same thing he was. “Scared the shit out of me,” Steven confesses. “When I couldn’t find you. I wouldn’t let myself think you were dead,” He says the word with a pained wince but continues anyway. “But you were gone, and that was close enough.” Steven takes a deep shuddering breath before saying, “Even if I did… die in there-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Please don’t say that,” Sam whispers brokenly into Steven’s neck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Listen to me,” he presses on. “Even if that happened, it wouldn’t be your fault. Never, _ever_ think something like that. There wouldn’t have been anything you could have done. Please tell me you know that.” Steven finishes, once again pulling back to look Sam in the eyes. Sam doesn’t agree with that, but he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore so he nods. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” Steven says softly, brushing a hair past Sam’s face and leaving his hand on the back of Sam’s neck. Sam shakes his head. He can’t believe how caring Steven is. It makes his heart leap and ache at the same time. He almost _lost_ this. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I didn’t mean to scare you either.” Sam says weakly, before moving his gaze to Sam’s arm and wincing sympathetically. “Are you okay? That looks really bad.” Sam suddenly can’t take his eyes off the seared skin, his worry growing stronger by the second. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Hurts like hell,” Steven says with a slight smile. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“You’re here though,” Sam seems to finish the sentence for him. Steven nods. “C’mon, let’s get that taken care of.” He grabs Steven’s left hand, raising it up to kiss his hand as his eyes catch the wedding band. He makes eye contact with Steven as he kisses the ring instead. Steven’s eyes soften as he pulls Sam from where his hand resides on the back of his neck and into a kiss. It’s deep and passionate, but filled with an almost terrified love than lust. Sam’s soft lips melt into Steven’s and he sighs deeply. Sam grabs both of Steven’s cheeks and pulls him closer while shutting his eyes tightly, reveling in it. He doesn’t think he will ever get used to how it feels to kiss Steven. His lips go tingly and his head gets floaty and his insides feel like they’re coated in light. He will never take this for granted, ever again. Steven let’s his tongue run along Sam’s bottom lip but he pulls away, neither of them in a state to take it any further. Sam leans in for one more peck before he backs up slightly. There’s still fresh tears in both of their eyes, and Steven is still breathing labordly in a way that shows he hasn’t really caught his breath since he made it out of the fire. Sam becomes aware of what a mess they both must look. Steven with his burnt suit and injured arm and Sam with his hair all over the place courtesy of his own stressed hands and Steven’s comforting ones, both of them with their cheeks and eyes swollen and noses runny. Definitely not what post-wedded bliss should look like. Sam can’t bring himself to care too much. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He takes Steven’s good hand and leads him to the paramedics, helping him up into the open ended ambulance before staking his place on the left side of him, Sam’s arm wrung tightly around Steven’s shoulder. It’s going to be a long while before Sam ever lets him go again, if ever. Sam talks to Steven about random things while the doctor works on his arm, just to keep him distracted. Steven winces occasionally but he handles it like a pro, just as he does with everything. They continue their small talk until a police officer comes to question them about the events of the night. Sam stays idle for most of it, instead of stroking the hair at the nape of Steven’s neck and staring at him longingly. The officer finishes his questioning, wishing them a safe night as he makes his way toward the other ambulances. Sam lets out a shaky breath. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“You okay?” Steven asks. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Yea,” Sam says, nodding. “Just hate cops.” Steven laughs at that so he considers it a win. Sam has a lot he wants to say, or ask rather. How Steven got out, is the most pressing one. Steven turns to look him in the eyes and Sam loses his train of thought. Steven is really one of the most beautiful people Sam has ever laid his eyes on. From his creamy skin and mocha hair, and his deep brown eyes that hold so much emotion. He really is lucky. “I love you,” Sam says, not meaning to say it but definitely not regretting it. Steven’s face melts sweetly and he brings his hand up to Sam’s hair. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I love you too,” Steven utters softly, “So much.” He pulls Sam into a hug and rests his head against his shoulder. Sam doesn’t know what this event means for them. It probably isn’t a good omen, but if he knows anything it’s that love and family and both irreplaceable and inescapable. The only thing he’s sure of is that he is never letting Steven Carrington out of his sight again. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Even if it kills him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! feel free to leave any comments if you are so inclined, they mean so much to me. once again, my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/derryciub) and if you happen to be into reddie or gallavich, i have some other fics about them here too.


End file.
